Hellbound? A thought provoking film and a missed opportunity.

A friend and former mentor during my time in Boy Scouts posted a link to a video on Facebook today that piqued my interest. When Pastor Rob Bell's book "Love Wins" came out in 2011 I did a fair amount of writing about it. Bell came under a lot of scrutiny for his book that asked hard questions about heaven, hell, the afterlife, and what that means for us on earth. The most outraged called him a heretic, and many began painting him as a universalist. This post isn't primarily about Bell, so I'll put him aside for a moment - it does give us a good launching point to discuss this film, however.

"Hellbound?" came out in 2012 and I completely missed it. I'm not sure how - though something tells me it had to do with my face being buried in Physics books during Yearling year at West Point. The film asks "Does hell exist? If so, who ends up there, and why? 'Hellbound?' is a provocative, feature-length documentary that will ensure you never look at hell the same way again!" After reading this brief description, I watched the trailer video.



If you're like me, this caught your attention. I couldn't help but dig up the full version - which didn't take long considering the film is now on Netflix. The movie clocks in at 84 minutes long, making it perfect for my after-lunch relaxation ritual. It explores exactly what it states - and I came away knowing a lot more about the various arguments about hell and was overall impressed with the quality. This could have easily been a one-sided argument slanted towards the director's personal convictions, but it wasn't.

Instead, "Hellbound?" starts with the 10 year anniversary of September 11th, complete with Westboro Baptist Church protestors. This powerful beginning led into an explanation about the "usual" Christian perspective (sometimes referred to as "conditionalism") on hell: if you die and don't accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior, you are judged by God and sent to eternal darkness and suffering. It then offers up brief explanations about "annihilationism" which is similar to conditionalism, but asserts that instead of eternal suffering, souls that do not believe in Christ will be annihilated and cease to exist. Sometimes torment is a part of being annihilated, sometimes not. The third, and final, perspective on hell that the film explores is universalism, which states that in the end, God's grace is bigger than sin: all will be forgiven, and all will spend eternity in paradise.

Roughly half of the film is spent on conditionalism, while the other half discusses universalism. In an interesting move, the director interviews theologians, authors, pastors, death-metal guitarists, and atheists in an effort to develop a holistic perspective about the debate, letting the interviewees, in a sense, debate each other without ever coming face to face. The audience is left to decide for themselves and no final word is given on which side presents the best argument. Questions are asked and explored, but never fully answered. After all, at the end of the day, we really don't know.

I enjoyed the film. It got me to think. It got me to explore some of my long-held beliefs about hell, while at the same time, it pricked me with questions that had been nagging at my brain for a long time. Questions like:

• If God is all loving and all powerful, why, then, does he not choose to save all of humanity? Is he unwilling?
• Why is the literal translation of "hell" in the Bible hotly disputed?
• Why are there scriptures that seem to back up each side of the debate?

I asked my mom and dad to watch the movie, and after their viewing my father and I discussed the merits and pitfalls of the film. I had come away feeling that the director was even-handed in his approach. My dad, on the other hand, felt like the first third of the movie was set up as a straw-man to be toppled in the final third. We did, however, agree on one major issue:

The movie did not adequately express the importance of a faith in Jesus. While the nature and very existence of hell was hotly discussed, nearly all of the people interviewed in the movie agreed that Jesus is the only way to heaven. This was almost taken for granted, and the director simply did not make it clear why. Additionally, the documentary was clearly targeted at a demographic: mine. That is, Christians. Part way through my viewing, I stopped and put myself in the shoes of a non-believer watching the film. Why would I even care? Christian lingo and phrases were tossed around with little explanation, and very little effort was made to cater to the most important potential audience: those that need to hear the message of Christ the most. This, I believe, was a huge missed opportunity on the part of the director. 

Personally, I think I lean more universalist than I do towards the the traditional notion of hell. But this isn't, necessarily, because I have been convinced either way. Rather, I'm a firm believer that Love covers a multitude of sins and that believing in Christ's unfailing love will always bring me back to the Cross; fear of hell, and fear in general, is not only a poor motivator to pursuing God, but it puts my heart in a place of self-focused negativeness that in no way aids my spiritual journey. I am a strong believer in ultimate Truth. I'm just not sure we'll ever know some aspects of that Truth until after our bodies are six feet under.

And ultimately, pursuing Christ and being that city on the hill is what I want in my life. These questions about heaven and hell are important, and worth pondering. Questions are good: they lead to self-discovery and can open new cognitive doors. But only Jesus leads to salvation.

Colin

Thoughts on Sunday

When I think of Sunday, a few things come to mind.
First, naturally, church.
Second, hanging out with my family. Normally this is breakfast after church, talking over the week's events, and laughing alot.
Third, relaxing. A great Sunday, in my mind, consists of sweatpants, dinosaur slippers, a good book or laptop, and (in the colder months) a fire roaring nearby.

Isn't it interesting that the first thing that I think of is church? The American culture has almost sold church as a "must do." It's like, if you want to feel good the rest of the week, you should go to church. Get your god face on, sing a bit, space out, then head home to kick back and let the good times roll.
Obviously something is wrong with this picture.

Some would argue that church itself is the issue. Atheists may say that church attempts to copy that community which families naturally share together already. This artificial ecosystem, they might say, only breeds a gross copy of the original.
On the other side of the spectrum, Jesus-loving Christians might say that the real problem with church is that the building is often filled with fake, mask-wearing, judgmental people. For a church to work, they might say, people must realize that the church building isn't really the Church. Some might even say that church is entirely unnecessary for the Church to exist.

I'm being real here: I really am not 100% sure where I lie in this spectrum of opinion. I would love to say that I know where I stand, what I believe, and that I have the Bible verses to prove it. But I don't.
I'm in process.

What I know (or think I know):
I know I'm not an atheist. I know that many people find value in even the most dysfunctional of churches. I know there are people who feel closer to God in the most religious of buildings, and really can't focus with roaring guitars and a huge sanctuary with overhead screens. I'm close to people who have stepped away from "church" altogether, in order that they might embrace BEING the Church. I see value in that as well.

I know that I don't like feeling like I should go to church on Sunday. On the other hand, I know that the things I don't want to do can be those that produce the most value. I understand that obligation does not breed love, but I'm not sure if love can breed obligation. I know hierarchy is the natural human response to disorder, but I also know that the Holy Spirit can reveal herself like the most wild, disorderly thing there is. I also know I probably offended someone by calling the Holy Spirit a her.

What are your thoughts?

So much to think about, so little time to process.
Well, for now, I will enjoy my Sunday.

Here, have some Calvin and Hobbes:


Colin

We interrupt this silence to bring you a brief blog post...

I've found time to steal away from school and work to kick back and do a late-night blog post! And there was great rejoicing! (yaaaayyy...)

Many thoughts have been running through my head as of late. Chief of these are about God, love, life, and meaning. I could do a million posts about each of those subjects, and if I were to tweet those posts and get a dollar for ever tweet, I'd have enough money to pay off our national debt! See how I snuck a political statement into that? Yeah, it just happened.

Anyways, an interesting story that sticks out to me actually happened today at dinner. Normally I eat with my family at the dinner table (my mom is an amazing cook so that also normally works out to my benefit.) Today, however, my parents were out at a thank-you dinner event. I was stuck at home due to homework, but at about 6:00 my stomach told me homework could wait- it was time for food.
So where does a 17 year old guy go to eat dinner alone? Apparently Panda Express. After getting my three entree plate of Kung Pao Chicken, Orange Chicken, (both are staples of Panda for me) the new Sweet Fire Chicken Breast, as well as a Dr. Pepper to compliment, I grabbed a seat in Panda's roomy yet post-dinner-rush-empty front dining room. And I ate.
It's been some time since I've eaten alone. In fact, after thinking about it, I can probably count all the alone-eating I've done in my life on one hand. As I sat there eating, I actually got bored. I entertained myself by people watching, but this too grew old over the course of my meal. So I turned inside myself and pondered this new development: eating alone. I realized it was talking I was missing; the stimulant of a good conversation at dinner. I missed my dad's dinner jokes and my mom's deep questions. The food began turning to ash in my mouth. Don't get me wrong, I love Panda, but Panda without company is like eating cookie dough made with salmonella infested eggs and rotten milk.
This eating alone made me feel so so so sorry for singles everywhere who get stuck alone at their dinner table with a bag or raman and their cats every night.

What on earth am I getting at? My little lonely-eating venture showed me one important thing: human beings are creatures of community. Even the most introverted of us need the council of a friend and the arm of a brother to help us when we slip. Loneliness in the world creeps out of the crevices that form between friends that haven't talked or hung out. The lack of love between people produces depression and the isolation of even the most hard prisoners drives them to the brink of insanity, then gives a light push. Human beings desire more then to simply cluster, collect honey, and protect their queen. We desire to be in relationship with each other; to love and to be loved.

That's where the Great Romance comes in, isn't it? It's the greatest way we can conceptualize Papa's love for us. It's one of the only ways we can put it into words. To simply say God loves me isn't enough, is it? To just say Jesus died on the cross for my sins is such an understatement, don't you think? It's as if this world craves love, but understates the Source of that Love to the point of making religion instead of relationship.

What would it look like to bask in the love of Papa? What would it look like to walk in peace and assurance? What would it look like to experience the Great Romance in my day-to-day life? What would it be like to never eat alone again?

Colin

Jesus, your name is power, breath, and living water

This morning I went to SYATP (See You At The Pole) at Capital High. It was awesome.
At the beginning there were about 15 or 20 of us students there.
The prayer started at 7:00am sharp and continued on through about 7:45. By the end of it, nearly 50 Christian students surrounded the flag pole. Although I didn't get any pictures during the prayer, check out these of the fellowship after:



It was so awesome to see students come together both in the Love of Christ, and in free speech, and to see life spoken over the school and the nation.

During the prayer time a song popped into my head. I began singing it to myself through the prayer time, until eventually I was walking out to my car singing it. As I got in my car and started the engine and the stereo came to life, I was blown away. The song playing on the radio was the very song I had been singing.
It goes like this:

	Gateway Worship - Revelation Song
	Found at skreemr.com

I was so blown away by this "coincidence" and it so hit me how involved God really is in my life, our lives.
He never ceases to show me His love. How can I even hope to try to display that to others? It's so awesome that He expects nothing, but rather just loves me. And so, I am free. I am free to pray in public, I am free to be a Christian no matter the circumstances, and I am free to love others by Christ's example.

Freedom is a beautiful thing.


Did you go to SYATP? What was your experience?
Colin

A Walk With a Fisherman

Listen to this, leave a comment with what you think.

For no real reason...Summertime Blues?

Having a great time wandering around and looking at the new Boise Public Library on Ustick and Cole.
I came down here for no real reason, mostly just to spend my summer afternoon in someplace other than my basement. And as I sit here, some kind of summertime blues are casting shadows over my heart. Could it be because I've been gone the last few weeks away from mcoupled with the darkness that hit my family almost four months agoy hometown and friends? Could it be because I'm leaving once again on Monday for a new adventure that will once again take me from home? Or is it something less complex? The death of major celebrities this last week, coupled with the darkness that hit my family almost four months ago? Is it the depressing song I'm listening to on Pandora?

I really am not sure. And yet, some kind of elusive and abstract Summertime Blues simply won't leave. I feel somewhat 'thought constipated' and I really do feel that writing this all down will help.

As I enter into my senior summer I've gotten a glimpse at this Process People Call Life. Why do things happen when you least want, ask for, or choose them? On a perfectly bright and cheerful day, why do I insist on being held back by this invisible feeling?
So many questions! So few answers!

"Welcome to being a grown up" is the most common response.
Screw that.
I refuse to let growing up hold me back. Life may not be all chocolate waterfalls and candy-cane trees, but I won't accept that the very act of growing up sucks the joy out of life.

"I don't want to fall away from
You Gravity is pulling me on down
I don't want to fall away from You
Gravity is pulling me to the ground
This world keeps making me cry
But I'm going to try, going to try to fly, going to fly high
Don't want to give into the sin, want to stay in You ‘til the end
Don't want to lose my sight of You
Don't want to lose my sight"

-Shawn McDonald, Gravity

Perhaps I'm looking at it the wrong way. After all, even Solomon said that there is a "season for everything" Can there be true happiness without some kind of definition for pain? Darkness in a room makes light that much more evident. What about love? How can I truly love someone wholeheartedly without knowing what the absence of love causes?

"I know why you're here, Neo. I know what you've been doing... why you hardly sleep, why you live alone, and why night after night, you sit by your computer. You're looking for him. I know because I was once looking for the same thing. And when he found me, he told me I wasn't really looking for him. I was looking for an answer. It's the question that drives us, Neo. It's the question that brought you here. You know the question, just as I did.

What is the Matrix?

The answer is out there, Neo, and it's looking for you, and it will find you if you want it to."

-Trinity, The Matrix

They say high school is the time when kids ask questions. If this blog post is any indicator, 'They' are correct. I've asked so many questions in the last four months, I don't even know what to do with myself. Most come back unanswered, but I know Jesus is there. Some answers will only tcome with time, some not at all. What I do know is that the only constant in this quagmire of thought, processing, pain, and questions is Jesus. He is my rock, and when I have no where else to go, when I run out of breathe for questions, and even when I'm throwing a temper tantrum, He is there.


Maybe some Arizona Green Tea, Zelda, and Talladega Nights will brighten my day. :)
Colin

Getting back on track: why I need Jesus

I received a very interesting response about my last post, both via comment and facebook. I believe the consensus was "ewwwe...that post was dark and hopeless."
Good.
One thing I've found useful about having this blog is that not only am I able to communicate where I'm at (in terms of life, thought process, physically, etc.) but I'm also able to communicate what I'm processing. The last post fits into the latter category.

So, partially as a rebuttal, and partially because I want to set the record straight, here's the other half of my thought process; the yin to yesterday's yang if you will.


Life with Jesus is a whole lot better than life without Jesus. (Mrs. Jones, that's my thesis statement for this post)
In my last post, if you look closely, I don't even mention God. I mention religion, but even that in a negative way. Here's what I'm getting at: without Jesus, without hope, without love (both of which He is) life is pointless. Without God the end all of man is to satisfy his hunger for sin: a hunger that ultimately leads to death.
My friend, Max Moser, wrote an interesting article for his school newspaper about just such a belief.

Now that last paragraph may have been incredibly easy for you to read. You may have already tackled this issue of right vs. wrong, good vs. bad in your own mind. The problem I face, is not distinguishing between the light and the dark, but rather living it out on a day-to-day moment-by-moment level. It's the whole issue of Romans 7 for me.
This, I fear, will take another whole post to discuss.


So, as much as my last post was a digression, so this post is getting back on track. I am firm in my belief in Jesus as my personal Savior. Sometimes, I just need to spill my guts about everything else going on in my head.

Colin

God is -- Part 2

This post is continued from Part 1: God is.

Today at school we had a follow up discussion of what was talked about last time regarding our views of God. We watched the same video to refresh our thought process. I made sure to make a mental note of the video's name this time around. Check it out.





Interesting, huh?

After re-watching the video, my devotions class had a discussion. Rather then specific people sharing their viewpoints and opinions on God (as was the case last time) the floor was kept open for anyone and everyone that wanted to share. Although few shared, both sides of the spectrum seemed to be represented with viewpoints.
The owners of these beliefs will be kept anonymous. The viewpoints are the point here, not the people.


On one hand, the belief was shared that God does what he does because it's best for us. If he needs to punish us, he will. If he needs to be there for us, he will. If he needs to love us, he will.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, the belief was put forth that to this particular person, the Trinity plays different roles in his life. This person sees Jesus like a buddy figure, or possibly a father. The Holy Spirit, he said, was more in the motherly role- caring for him, surrounding him with love. God, as he put it, was the encourager and the role-model. "The type of guy I would see in the stands at my baseball game cheering for me."

Granted, the way I just wrote those two different viewpoints was probably slanted. I am more inclined to the latter, and in fact I see the former as almost a jail or prison cell- lacking freedom of any kind. But to this person, the thought that God is an almighty "authority" was truth.
As my teacher put it today, view points on God have changed from generation to generation. My question in response to that, however, would be "but does that mean God has ever changed?"

What do you think?

Colin

Easter, Lacrosse, and why I give a tweet.

Today, I'm writing like Costco sells. In bulk.
Imagine three completely different topics, written as if they're their own posts, but then strung together using one word that not only defines the blog entries, but also projects what's in the author's heart.
Now, read on.

--

Twitter.
To many people, that one word brings forth an instant cringe; an automatic mental shut down. Often, when I bring up twitter around friends or other people I know, I get one of two things: the "geek stare" or the "god stare." Notice how either way I'm getting stared at. Unnerving to say the least.
In any case, I have a confession to make: I am a twitter-aholic. Or, to be less pessimistic, I enjoy twitter a whole lot. No, it's not because I want to grow up to be one of those snazzy "hip" dads. You know the stereotype: sun-glass wearing, iPhone holding, white-earphones-wearing, constant grin, and a computer at home that took a house mortgage to pay for. Ugh.
Rather, I enjoy twitter because I really do like seeing what people are up to. No, I'm not some nosy stalker type, I just enjoy communicating, conversing, and being in contact with people. And twitter provides me a fast, simple, fun, and easy way to do that- all while stuff is actually happening, and even from the comfort of my very own cell phone. :) O, wat joy!

--

I play lacrosse for Capital High School. Don't know what lacrosse is? Try this: think of soccer. Now, give each of the players big metal sticks, make the soccer ball a rubber baseball, and give each team member hockey pads. Finally, make the game full contact. That's lacrosse.
This is my 3rd year playing for Capital (makes sense as I'm a Junior) and I really, really enjoy the sport.
The problem with Capital lax (yep, that's the shortened version) is that it's always been semi-mediocre. Not to say we've ever been HORRIBLE, or AWFUL, just to say we've never been the best. Some years have been better than others, but as a whole we tend to fall above Borah, but below Boise.
Lacrosse seasons starts in about Feb. and goes all through the rest of the school year. Yep, that's right kids, it's in full swing now! We've had about five games, three of which I've been able to make. (The first two happened in the week of darkness.)

Today, my team played Eagle High. Ugh. Allow me to elaborate; though it will take digression:
Eagle High is made up of primarily rich kids. Generalized, but true for the most part. On the lacrosse field this snobbish mentality transfers into blatant and unnecessary sarcasm, direct insults, and many yellow foul-flags thrown on the field (most of them because of my team retaliating to the verbal dickishness.) On top of that, they play lacrosse well. Not as good as Timberline or Centennial, mind you, but good enough to beat most other teams. In a scrimmage earlier this year, they stomped us so hard I can't remember the score (purged from my brain.) Suffice it to say that my team wanted to win this. Bad.
We wanted to knock those silly rich kid grins off of their sarcastic and sneering faces. We wanted to take their $100 Benjamins and stuff them down their esophogus so as to suffocate every last one of them to death. We wanted to take metal poles and beat them until they bruised black and started to cry.
But, just as in Shakespear's tragedies, it wasn't to be. That's right, we lost.
Interestingly enough, though, my team was able to tie Eagle, and hold that tie all through the first half. The second half started less promising, and didn't get any better. We lost with by a 4 point spread, but were glad for our labor.

--

Easter:
Jesus, eggs, bunnies, chocolate, candy, pastels, blue, yellow, peeps, church.
Those are the first words that jump in my head.
Most Easters with the Mansfield family are spent doing hunts around the yard, dying eggs, and eating amazing meals (deviled eggs!) This weekend should prove to be no different, except that our good family friends from Arizona, the Bushes, are in town! They are hear not only to laugh and have fun with my family, but also to support us through this darkness.

Matthew 28 (Message)

^1-4 After the Sabbath, as the first light of the new week dawned, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary came to keep vigil at the tomb. Suddenly the earth reeled and rocked under their feet as God's angel came down from heaven, came right up to where they were standing. He rolled back the stone and then sat on it. Shafts of lightning blazed from him. His garments shimmered snow-white. The guards at the tomb were scared to death. They were so frightened, they couldn't move.

^5-6The angel spoke to the women: "There is nothing to fear here. I know you're looking for Jesus, the One they nailed to the cross. He is not here. He was raised, just as he said. Come and look at the place where he was placed.

⁷"Now, get on your way quickly and tell his disciples, 'He is risen from the dead. He is going on ahead of you to Galilee. You will see him there.' That's the message."

^8-10The women, deep in wonder and full of joy, lost no time in leaving the tomb. They ran to tell the disciples. Then Jesus met them, stopping them in their tracks. "Good morning!" he said. They fell to their knees, embraced his feet, and worshiped him. Jesus said, "You're holding on to me for dear life! Don't be frightened like that. Go tell my brothers that they are to go to Galilee, and that I'll meet them there."

But isn't this what Easter's all about? Without delving too much into the cliche and predictable questions and answers, I really do believe that this time is all about Jesus. Pray for me as I seek to grow closer to him.

So where am I going with all this seemingly useless babble?

RELATIONSHIP

When I twitter, I am seeking to build relationship with others, whether I've met them or not. In lacrosse, not only am I building relationship with team members on the field, I've gotten chances to talk with them off of the field (today, riding home with one, I was able to talk about life, faith, and his and my journey through life up to this point). Finally, Jesus dying on the cross and raising on the third day allows me to fully have relationship with him in a very real way: without the bonds of sin and pain.

That's all :) Happy Easter!
Colin

The calm after the storm

These last couple days were very, very relaxing. Movies were watched, conversations had, and processing took place.
A couple things I've realized and clarified through this grieving process:

• I process by talking. Going off and walking by myself may help me focus my thoughts, much like a dog chasing his tail is able to clearly see his tail. All the same, I run in circles. I find myself processing the most when I hold conversations with people and explain where I'm at.
• I'm an extrovert who needs time alone, or almost alone. What I mean is that I get energy from people (extrovert) but at the same time, I need time to clarify my position. This weekend helped me do that.

On top of all this stuff that's been going on, I got my wisdom teeth out on Monday. All four of them. And let me tell you, it hasn't helped me process. It has, however, taken my mind off of the emotional pain- even if momentarily.

There are no accidents. That is something I firmly believe.
I just finished reading a blog post from a friend of mine, a hero actually, and 'no accidents' came to my mind. Not so much because there is a reason for everything, although that may be the case, but because of who I know Jesus to be.
Jesus is the savior of the world, sent because man sinned. That's the squirrel answer. God created man perfectly, and when we screwed it up, he sent Jesus because-yeah- that's how much we mean to him. He loves me enough to carry me in his arms when I screw my life up and make bad decisions- or when things happen to me that are completely out of my control.
Jesus is the supreme and ultimate MacGyver, able to create something out of nothing, good from bad, and bring everything together. If life was a giant puzzle, Jesus would be the one putting all the pieces together. He's the one able to see how one decision can affect someone's entire life, and one event, such as death, can change a whole circle of people forever. And yet, somehow, among all the pain, adultry, pornogrophy, murder, suicide, drugs, and death He is able to love us. He is able to love me.

I don't understand. I don't see the 'no accident' in my big brother's death. There may be no answer to my asking 'why?'

So, I process.

Tomorrow I'm headed off for a weekend in McCall with my friends (yep, back to the mountains.) This time around, it'll be more to have fun and laugh. Much wanted, and much needed.

Grieving is painful.
Colin