Rebirth, Renewal, Redemption

Moments ago I sat down to make a "Classic Christian" music playlist. I reached a certain song - Flood by Jars of Clay - and I was reminded of a post I wrote long ago. I made this post days after my brother Nate died in 2009. Jars of Clay resonated with me in a way few bands have during that time, and the post contains nothing more than pictures that I was using to relay where I was at emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically. And I was stuck.

College has brought with it a host of things to wrestle with and questions to ask.

Am I good enough?
Do I fit in?
Can I succeed?
Will the future be bright?
Is God real?
Am I product of my environment growing up?
Is there a girl out there who is the One?
Is the Bible truth?
Do I have boundaries?

And I can tell you that most of those are unanswered. But as I sit here listening to a song that spoke to me years ago, I am reminded of the road I have traveled and the things I have learned along the way.

Recently I've developed an affinity towards the history of old, abandoned, broken buildings. Exploring them, researching them, taking pictures of them, sharing discoveries with others. Every building has a story as unique as the people that once walked its halls and slept in its rooms. There's something about them that reminds me of how fragile the world is. Titanics sink. Towers of Babel fall. There is a beginning and an end to everything. Seasons come, and seasons go.

The last year and half has been a season of doubt and insecurity. And that season, at long last, is coming to a close.

God is speaking into my life through his Word and my closest friends. I'm ready to step into the next season, and I'm ready to walk in His confidence and Love. I know now that this road is one not easily traveled. It's easy to mess up, get sidetracked, and do the wrong things. But I know who I am in Christ, and I know that I am forgiven.

I'm not as quick to judge the church anymore. I'm not as quick to think that I am somehow spiritually superior to my brothers and sisters in Christ. The truth is, I don't know much. And what I think I know, I question every day.

I've been stuck before. God was there then. God was there when Abraham messed up. He was there when David stumbled. He was there when man chose sin. He was there when Jesus hung on the cross. He's always been there, and He always will be.

A new season is upon me, and I'm so ready.

Colin

Shark Week - a little late, but still great!

A couple weeks ago some friends and I made this video in honor of Discovery Channel's Shark Week!

First Week of Classes, Junior Year

This post may be somewhat dry - I just need to process some things I think. It may come out as simply a listing of events and such. So, you've been warned.

It's so crazy for me to think that I'm already a Junior, or Cow in West Point lingo. This semester I'm taking International Relations, Intermediate Arabic, Advanced Survival Swimming, IT305, Political Analysis, and Fundamentals of Nuclear Engineering. It's not a super heavy course load (17 credits) but I'm already not too excited for Arabic and Nuke. I'll have to put in extra time in both of those courses, that's for sure.

I started my morning routine that I outlined in my last post, and it worked really well! I'm actually really enjoying getting up a bit earlier. It's like I've wanted an excuse to get up earlier, and now I have it. The next step is to get to bed on time - I've not been doing so well at that all week.

When I take a step back and look at my life right now, it's relatively simple. I need to go to school, and actively engage in what West Point has to offer. That's it. And yet when I'm in the moment it seems loads harder to accomplish those things. The difficulty of West Point is in the details for sure. The 10 minute walks across campus that add up, the errands that need to get ran, the assignment that I need to sign up for online. All of the little things compile, and the snowball effect takes over. Last semester, I got crushed by the snowball. This semester, I am better prepared (I hope!).

My sister had her gall bladder removed yesterday, and the surgery went well. I'm sooooo glad. This has been something that has haunted her since getting pregnant with Amelia, and I really hope that this surgery is the end of it all. I want to be able to eat cookie dough with my sis again!

My friend Kona is getting ready to leave for Africa this semester along with my other friend Kelsey. It's really weird for me because when I come home for Thanksgiving and Christmas I won't be able to go and visit her at all. That seems fairly selfish I guess, but my point is that I am going to miss her. I know that his is a part of her journey and her adventure, and for that I am so excited.

I was the photographer for the Plebe Retreat this semester. Basically, the Plebe Retreat is a Bible camp for the new freshmen at West Point. It gives them a chance to meet other Christians at West Point and to get plugged in at one of the many Christian groups that meets on Tuesday nights. Somebody heard that I was half-decent at taking pictures through the grapevine, and so that's what I did all weekend (along with some ping-pong and volleyball of course!) It was up at Camp Buckner, and I really had a great time. It was nice to get away from the hustle and bustle of West Point and to just relax in the pseudo-wilderness for a while. Taking the time to worship and really spend quality time with Papa is something that has been noticeably absent from my life, and I hope to improve that moving forward.

Week 2 of classes started yesterday, and I'm actually really pumped. Here's to another week of getting my body sore through workouts and my mind sore through school!

Colin