Rebirth, Renewal, Redemption

Moments ago I sat down to make a "Classic Christian" music playlist. I reached a certain song - Flood by Jars of Clay - and I was reminded of a post I wrote long ago. I made this post days after my brother Nate died in 2009. Jars of Clay resonated with me in a way few bands have during that time, and the post contains nothing more than pictures that I was using to relay where I was at emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically. And I was stuck.

College has brought with it a host of things to wrestle with and questions to ask.

Am I good enough?
Do I fit in?
Can I succeed?
Will the future be bright?
Is God real?
Am I product of my environment growing up?
Is there a girl out there who is the One?
Is the Bible truth?
Do I have boundaries?

And I can tell you that most of those are unanswered. But as I sit here listening to a song that spoke to me years ago, I am reminded of the road I have traveled and the things I have learned along the way.

Recently I've developed an affinity towards the history of old, abandoned, broken buildings. Exploring them, researching them, taking pictures of them, sharing discoveries with others. Every building has a story as unique as the people that once walked its halls and slept in its rooms. There's something about them that reminds me of how fragile the world is. Titanics sink. Towers of Babel fall. There is a beginning and an end to everything. Seasons come, and seasons go.

The last year and half has been a season of doubt and insecurity. And that season, at long last, is coming to a close.

God is speaking into my life through his Word and my closest friends. I'm ready to step into the next season, and I'm ready to walk in His confidence and Love. I know now that this road is one not easily traveled. It's easy to mess up, get sidetracked, and do the wrong things. But I know who I am in Christ, and I know that I am forgiven.

I'm not as quick to judge the church anymore. I'm not as quick to think that I am somehow spiritually superior to my brothers and sisters in Christ. The truth is, I don't know much. And what I think I know, I question every day.

I've been stuck before. God was there then. God was there when Abraham messed up. He was there when David stumbled. He was there when man chose sin. He was there when Jesus hung on the cross. He's always been there, and He always will be.

A new season is upon me, and I'm so ready.

Colin

Bringing in the New Year

This year, thanks to Ustream, I was able to stream LIVE the birthing of 2010. Watch, laugh, and disregard all political comments.





After bringing in the New Year with family, I really became aware how ready I was for 2009 to end. I really didn't have a fun year. That being said, I feel like I'm coming to the point where I can acknowledge that last year was no accident.

2010 represents not only a new year and a new decade, but a new start. Like a pine forest after the most disastrous of fires, I feel torn down, stripped bare, and, to a certain degree, left out in the cold and ashes. But, extending the metaphor further, I foresee these next years to be the start of something incredibly green. Just as a pine forest flourishes greatest after going through an incredibly destructive fire, so will be the next years of my life, and my families life. God doesn't want humans to live in pain. He's in the business of loving and making things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His will.

I can't wait to see what Papa has in store for this year.

How did you celebrate?
Colin