It's been easy for me to get down, to fall into a sort of hole or depression. I miss home a lot. More than that: I miss how things were. And the hardest thing about all of this change is coming to the realization that things will never again be how they were.
This homesickness/past-sickness was beginning to breed in me a constant state of unrest, of stress. I was stressed about school, sports, duties...most everything actually.
"Wouldn't us getting stressed out kind of be like telling God we don't trust him? I think that if we truly understood the heart of God, we would have no need to be stressed out because isn't it more than enough that He is in control? Philippians 4:6-7 ' Do not worry about anything. Instead pray about everything and the peace of God which passes all understanding will guard your heart and your mind in Jesus Christ.'"My amazing girlfriend sent this to me a couple weeks ago. I've been thinking about it a lot. Today I went to read my Bible, and without even making the connection, I read the book of Philippians. When I went back to re-read Kona's message to me, I realized that it too was out of Philippians. Papa is telling me something.
I changed the blade in my razor this morning, and as I did it I changed my attitude. I choose to no longer feel stressed, because I know that God is in control. I choose to no longer be in a constant state of sickness, whether it be about the past or home, because I know that Papa has it handled.
And that is a freeing feeling.