We interrupt this silence to bring you a brief blog post...

I've found time to steal away from school and work to kick back and do a late-night blog post! And there was great rejoicing! (yaaaayyy...)

Many thoughts have been running through my head as of late. Chief of these are about God, love, life, and meaning. I could do a million posts about each of those subjects, and if I were to tweet those posts and get a dollar for ever tweet, I'd have enough money to pay off our national debt! See how I snuck a political statement into that? Yeah, it just happened.

Anyways, an interesting story that sticks out to me actually happened today at dinner. Normally I eat with my family at the dinner table (my mom is an amazing cook so that also normally works out to my benefit.) Today, however, my parents were out at a thank-you dinner event. I was stuck at home due to homework, but at about 6:00 my stomach told me homework could wait- it was time for food.
So where does a 17 year old guy go to eat dinner alone? Apparently Panda Express. After getting my three entree plate of Kung Pao Chicken, Orange Chicken, (both are staples of Panda for me) the new Sweet Fire Chicken Breast, as well as a Dr. Pepper to compliment, I grabbed a seat in Panda's roomy yet post-dinner-rush-empty front dining room. And I ate.
It's been some time since I've eaten alone. In fact, after thinking about it, I can probably count all the alone-eating I've done in my life on one hand. As I sat there eating, I actually got bored. I entertained myself by people watching, but this too grew old over the course of my meal. So I turned inside myself and pondered this new development: eating alone. I realized it was talking I was missing; the stimulant of a good conversation at dinner. I missed my dad's dinner jokes and my mom's deep questions. The food began turning to ash in my mouth. Don't get me wrong, I love Panda, but Panda without company is like eating cookie dough made with salmonella infested eggs and rotten milk.
This eating alone made me feel so so so sorry for singles everywhere who get stuck alone at their dinner table with a bag or raman and their cats every night.

What on earth am I getting at? My little lonely-eating venture showed me one important thing: human beings are creatures of community. Even the most introverted of us need the council of a friend and the arm of a brother to help us when we slip. Loneliness in the world creeps out of the crevices that form between friends that haven't talked or hung out. The lack of love between people produces depression and the isolation of even the most hard prisoners drives them to the brink of insanity, then gives a light push. Human beings desire more then to simply cluster, collect honey, and protect their queen. We desire to be in relationship with each other; to love and to be loved.

That's where the Great Romance comes in, isn't it? It's the greatest way we can conceptualize Papa's love for us. It's one of the only ways we can put it into words. To simply say God loves me isn't enough, is it? To just say Jesus died on the cross for my sins is such an understatement, don't you think? It's as if this world craves love, but understates the Source of that Love to the point of making religion instead of relationship.

What would it look like to bask in the love of Papa? What would it look like to walk in peace and assurance? What would it look like to experience the Great Romance in my day-to-day life? What would it be like to never eat alone again?

Colin

Jesus, your name is power, breath, and living water

This morning I went to SYATP (See You At The Pole) at Capital High. It was awesome.
At the beginning there were about 15 or 20 of us students there.
The prayer started at 7:00am sharp and continued on through about 7:45. By the end of it, nearly 50 Christian students surrounded the flag pole. Although I didn't get any pictures during the prayer, check out these of the fellowship after:



It was so awesome to see students come together both in the Love of Christ, and in free speech, and to see life spoken over the school and the nation.

During the prayer time a song popped into my head. I began singing it to myself through the prayer time, until eventually I was walking out to my car singing it. As I got in my car and started the engine and the stereo came to life, I was blown away. The song playing on the radio was the very song I had been singing.
It goes like this:

	Gateway Worship - Revelation Song
	Found at skreemr.com

I was so blown away by this "coincidence" and it so hit me how involved God really is in my life, our lives.
He never ceases to show me His love. How can I even hope to try to display that to others? It's so awesome that He expects nothing, but rather just loves me. And so, I am free. I am free to pray in public, I am free to be a Christian no matter the circumstances, and I am free to love others by Christ's example.

Freedom is a beautiful thing.


Did you go to SYATP? What was your experience?
Colin

The last day of my NY trip

I don't have much time, as I need to hit the sack ASAP (6am flight, 4am wake up). These last two weeks have produced amazing friends, renewed relationships with family, and awesome experiences! It has been a trip to remember.

That being said, below are some pics from today: my last day in NY!

Feel free to follow my journey tomorrow at http://twitter.com/ColinMansfid





























Colin

-- Posted from my iPhone --

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Today's journey

Life is a journey, isn't it? Every day, a new step in some direction; every moment a choice that affects life. Many times I get caught up in the bigness of life: future, future, future. Where am I going, what is my career going to be, what's my time frame for (insert important goal). but what about today's journey? Where have I been today, who have I related with, and how has this influenced me?

So, without further ado: today's journey (as told through uncaptioned photos)































Colin
PS that last pic is a welt from a paintball game I played today. It drew blood.

-- Posted from my iPhone --

Change of Shades

A couple months ago, Kona Estes and I started up a blog. Why? We're going to Europe this summer, that's why. When we started it we weren't sure how, when, or why, we just knew we were going. As the date of departure now draws near, it's become clear that Papa's hand has been on us, every step of the way. First planning, then brainstorming, now fundraising, and soon going. Please give the site a visit, and feel free to follow our journey.

Colin


"Change of Shades is a way of tracking the journey of Colin Mansfield and Kona Estes as they venture to Europe this summer as Student Ambassadors for the United States through People to People. Through pictures, video, information, and good humor, this blog communicates the heart of who Kona and Colin are."

"Colin and Kona enjoy traveling, building relationships with others, listening to music, playing the guitar, riding bikes, going for rides in beautiful sports cars, and being loved on by Papa. Kona attends Capital Senior High School, and Colin attends the Vineyard Christian Homeschool Co-op."

The Raw Stuff

Joy that is unrefined, authentic. Of the heart, and to the heart. Joy which cannot be explained with mere words, and yet is so uncontainable that one must try. Joy that is more than happiness, more than excitement. The raw stuff. Breaks all barriers. Impacts.

My girlfriend, Kona Estes, gave me the best Christmas present I have ever received from any friend.
Allow me to preface:
When it comes to Christmas I'm a wee-bit materialistic. It's not that I don't enjoy the more "abstract" gifts the holidays bring (happiness, warm smiles, etc) I just happen to think I can enjoy those gifts more with a new iPod, laptop, book, video game, movie, ...ok you get the picture.

For my Christmas present to Kona I gave her an assortment of gift cards to various stores. I also hand picked a number of funny cards with which to hold said gift cards. Finally, I came up with a semi-elaborate scavenger hunt to various places that are special to Kona, or to her and I. At each stop she would get money in the form of a gift card, and a clue to the next area. It ended at my house for a yummy breakfast kudos of my wonderful mom.
And yeah, I'm pretty proud of the whole thing. I think it turned out really well, and Kona said she liked it (always a good sign.)

All that to say, I prepped, planned, and executed (on Christmas eve, I might add.)
I was slightly put off when Kona didn't return the favor that day. Or Christmas day. Or the weekend after. Or New Year's weekend.
In her defense, she stayed in communication with me and timing simply did not work out. Every day she had free to give me her present, I was busy, and vice-versa. Still, it was a little disconcerting.

On an unrelated note (or at least that's what I thought at the time) she invited me over to her grandparents house last weekend to celebrate Christmas with their family in Bowmont, Idaho. When we were about 10 minutes away, Kona informed me that this was her Christmas present: the present of quality time. I would be spending the day hanging out with her family and getting to know them.
I admit, I thought it was a very thoughtful gift, but my first reaction was nervousness. I really did not want to pull a Meet the Parents. But I figured jumping out of the moving car in front of my girlfriend and her entire family would probably be offensive to some degree, so I stayed along for the ride.

I had an AMAZING time! Getting to know new people is always a little awkward towards the beginning for me, but as I got to talking with her grandpa and uncle, I started to enjoy myself. I forgot everything about trying to make a good impression, or sell myself, and I just relaxed. It wasn't that I was focusing on being authentic, real and deep. Rather, I was me. 100% Colin William Mansfield. And I had a fantastic time!

Later that night, while we were packing up and getting ready to leave, I realized, or rather got a glimpse, of what it was I had been feeling that day. I had been feeling pure, raw joy. I had experienced the bride of Christ at her best. It was as though I had left behind all the negativity of life somewhere on the road out of Boise, and all that was left was this immunizing, numbing joy. All I can describe it as is the Joy of Jesus. Even as I came home, said my goodbyes to Kona and the rest of the Estes Clan, and crawled into bed, I could feel the waves of raw joy splash up onto my body.
Did I deserve this? No. Did Jesus still give it to me? Yes. And I stood in awe.

Have you experienced His raw Joy?

Colin

P.S. Kona- thank you so much. You have no clue what it meant to me. :-)
And Captain- thanks for driving. ;-)

Also- check out this video by The Rocket Summer. I think the lyrics are really interesting. See how it plays into being a Ground Shaker.

The Rocket Summer - Do You Feel