Doing alot of thinking as my dad, Mark Smit and I make our way to So Cal. Mark Smit is my brother's beat friend, and he spoke at the funeral. It's hard to believe my family has to do this all over again.
I was asked to speak at my Grandma's service on thurs. morning, and I know it's going to be difficult. I'm not sure what I'm gonna say, or how I'm gonna say it, but I trust the words will come.
Something I've been thinking about lately is just BEING. I've written about this concept before, but it has never been so real to me as it is now.
I don't consider myself a control freak, but it's very interesting how I automatically freak out as soon as all control is taken away. What I mean is that I'm fine with change, so long as nothing hugely unexpected happens.
And let me tell you, these last two month have been HUGELY unexpected. So how do I react? Well, as I see it, I have essentially two options. I can (1) get angry, reserved, introspective, and frustrated at life and God, or I can (2) BE. Realize that I truly have no idea what's going on, but live in the knowledge that He does. The latter, although much better sounding, is a million times harder realistically speaking. It's one thing to say it, quite another to BE in it.
But I believe the first step is that one word; that two letter, one syllable, multiple meaning word that is overused but hardly ever "acted" upon.
-- Posted from my iPhone --