Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Friday, December 20, 2013
His Favorite Christmas Short Story
Blogged by
Colin Mansfield
at
7:17 PM
I've been having a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit. In an effort to fix this, I decided to write a short story based on Capital Light's Christmas song, "His Favorite Christmas Story." If you haven't heard it, please give it a listen below and buy it on iTunes. I love this song and thought that perhaps I could build on the lyrics with my own take. I changed a few things, but kept the spirit of the song very much intact. Feel free to share this with others, and have a Merry Christmas!
------------------------
His Famous Christmas Short Story
Song by Capital Lights, short story by Colin Mansfield.
James Parker had planned on staying home that evening. His dad was by the fireplace reading, a book of poetry in one hand and his large half-bent billiard pipe in the other. The mix of strong tobacco and smoke from the fire filled their small three-bedroom house with a scent that James now associated with home. This time of year was especially difficult for the Parker household. The memory of losing his mother and younger sister eight Christmases ago was far enough behind them that it wasn't often discussed, but recent enough to make the wound feel fresh as the snow began to fall each year.
19 year old James sat cross-legged on the floor, eyes gazing into the burning fire. Memories from the year passed before his eyes: 1937 had brought the Hindenburg disaster, the disappearance of famous aviator Amelia Earhart, and the continued rise of the Soviet Union as a world power. His eyes traced the red bricks that were gleaming around the fireplace. Red and blue candles burned on the mantle above his and his father's stockings, next to a medal his dad had won in the Great War. The same candles that his mother had insisted on displaying each year. His father was still grieving, to be sure. But somehow he had managed to maintain the memory of James' mother and sister without constantly making it front-and-center in their lives. James' dad worked at the lumber mill and promised to get James a job next year. He was a good man.
A large *thump* against the window broke James' train of thought and sent him careening back to reality. A round blotch of snow was stuck to the window.
"James!" yelled voices from outside.
*thump* another snowball hit the window, and James' dad looked up.
James got up, ran to the window, and opened it just as another snowball was about to hit its mark. He suddenly realized that he should probably check-- too late. *pfff* the snowball hit him directly in the face. Wiping away the slush from his nose and eyes, James saw his two best friends - Tom and Robert - standing outside wearing what appeared to be their Sunday best. The only difference? Mittens and snowballs in hand.
"There you are!" Tom yelled, "You comin' with us to the Christmas party, or what?"
Arden was a small town located in northern Delaware, but the one thing it boasted every year was a beautiful and well-executed Christmas Eve party. People from big cities like Dover and Wilmington frequented the party annually, and sometimes folks from Maryland and New Jersey braved the snowy December drive.
James, still upset about the snowball, yelled back - with the best sarcasm he could muster - "With you two idiots? Not a chance!"
Robert replied, "Don't make us come up there and drag you out!"
James shut the window and looked at his dad.
"Go on, kid. You know I'll be fine here. You can wear my suit if you'd like."
James had never been much for parties, even Arden's famous Christmas bash. He enjoyed the company of his friends, sure, but the introverted side of himself was always at odds with the spirit of parties in general. A night inside with the warmth of the fire and the presence of his father seemed much more appropriate for Christmas Eve, anyways.
*thump* another snowball hit the window.
"If you're not gonna go, you better have the money to fix that window when Tom breaks it." said his dad, taking a puff from his pipe.
James smiled, opened the window again and yelled, "I'm coming already! Give me a minute to get dressed."
Donning his dad's black suit, James came back out to let his father give him a once over.
"Looking good, kid." His dad said, eyes scanning. "Come here and let me fix that tie." His dad's practiced hands undid James' sloppy knot and quickly fixed it with a masterful full-windsor.
"Better hurry, it's almost 10. I'd hate for you to miss that dance."
James' mom and dad had always danced when he was young. Everything - salsa, ballroom, swing - they knew it all. James himself had only learned a few steps, and would hardly call himself confident. Dancing was not on his agenda for tonight - besides, the only girls he knew in Arden were married or gone. A live band was supposed to be playing the party this year, though, and at least that would give him something to tap his foot to.
James wrapped the scarf his sister had knitted for him years ago around his neck, pulled a jacket on, and shut the door behind him.
"We thought you had fallen into the toilet or something." Tom said, slapping James on the shoulder.
"Let's go rescue us some damsels in distress." said Robert, only half-joking. He had always been the ladies man, and James often lost track of his many girlfriends. Tom and James shook their heads as Robert led the way.
They approached the dance-hall, a place Arden had built a few years ago to house the ever-growing Christmas Eve party. The music was loud from the outside, and James could already smell gingerbread and peppermint. As usual, the town had spared no expense. In the distance, James could hear the local church carolers singing their hymns and songs on someone's front porch. He smiled, then stepped inside.
The Christmas Eve party of 1937 was the biggest any of the boys had ever seen. Red and green streamers hung from the large, domed ceiling and electric Christmas lights with big clear bulbs were wrapped around a huge, 25ft Christmas tree in the middle of the room. Around the tree stood people James had grown up with, along with strangers that he knew had made the pilgrimage from out-of-town - all in their very best attire. James saw men with suits and hot-cocoa in hand, ladies with dresses and sparkling smiles, and the occasional child trying to make mischief. Behind the tree was a stage where the band stood and played Christmas tunes. The lead vocalist was singing the 1934 hit, "Winter Wonderland" while the bassist behind him plucked at his large cello and the pianist masterfully led the tune. The city had even brought in a big brass band; trumpets and trombones filled in between lyrics. James had never seen such a beautiful spectacle, and for a second he stood at the entrance stark-still taking it all in.
"You comin' bud?" Tom said, pulling at James' collar to follow.
The boys took off their coats, grabbed an Irish coffee each, and started talking with friends. James remained reserved, stopping every few moments to admire the decorations and music. His foot tapped along with the Holiday favorite "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" and he admired the couples dancing between the giant tree and the band's stage.
A half-hour passed, and James had found a seat away from the crowd. He sat and watched Robert get denied a dance for the third time that night. Tom stood with his work friends and laughed as they took turns telling jokes. Suddenly, James caught a blur of red from the corner of his left eye. He turned, and as he did he could swear that somebody darkened the lights. In James' mind the only light that remained in the room was in the back left corner of the dance hall. A young lady, perhaps 17 or 18, stood there in a bright red dress that fell to her calves. She was slender, but not short - perhaps five foot six or seven. her blonde hair cascaded to her shoulders in big round curls, and she was laughing. James couldn't hear her laugh from his side of the room, but he imagined that the only sound that could come from a girl like this would have rivaled the angels' chorus to the shepherds on the first Christmas night. Her eyes were shut as she laughed, and then they opened and glanced over at James. He looked away quickly, then back, and met her eyes again. She was talking to someone, but her eyes were focused on James. He looked at his watch to try and break the stare, 10:40. The party would end at 11, as it did every year. James cursed under his breath for not noticing the girl earlier - had he been blind, or had she just arrived?
He looked back at her, and saw that she was no longer engaged in conversation with anyone. She stood there, alone, one foot tapping to the music. She looked at the tree, tracing its boughs to the top where a star was placed like some kind of watchful spirit. She looked at James again, this time with only a fleeting glance. He saw her press her lips together as if she had just put on lipstick - then he noticed that she had. It was red - the same shade as her dress - and he found himself captivated by even just the image of her.
Everyone has a few moments in life that they can perfectly recall from memory. For James, this was one such moment. His mind sketched out her every curve and movement. The way she swayed from side to side, her dress rippling under the white Christmas lights. The way she kept her foot perfectly in time with the music. The way she looked at him, and held his gaze.
James found himself standing up, almost automatically. He left his empty drink at the table and started to walk towards the girl, holding her gaze the whole time. Robert and Tom both watched from the other side of the room as he walked straight through a circle of conversation without paying anyone mind. He walked straight up to the girl and was only a few feet away before he realized that his mind was completely blank. He didn't have a thing to say to her. His bravery was failing him fast, and he had to think of something quickly. If there was such thing as love at first sight, this was it. James knew that he had one chance with this girl - he had to make an impression. Gathering every ounce of courage he had left, James said,
"Would you like to dance?"
The girl smiled, her red lips parting to reveal perfectly straight white teeth. She took his extended hand and replied,
"Certainly."
James' thought that his ability to dance would be rusty after so many years without practice. But in that moment every dance with his mom rushed back into his arms and legs and muscle memory saved the day. He wrapped his right arm around her waste and they began waltzing around the dance floor. The song changed, this time with more trumpet and bass than the last, and James took her right and left hands as they began swing dancing. She followed him, movement for movement, as if she had been doing this her entire life. James was in awe of how easily they flowed together - he had never danced with anyone so steady and easily led. Their eyes flitted back to each other's frequently, and James was in awe of her smile each time.
Just as quickly as it started, it was over. The clock struck 11, the band played their last notes, and the Christmas lights were turned off. The mass of people inside began putting on their coats and moving outside. James was still holding the girl's hand when he saw Robert and Tom moving towards the exit. Robert had given up on conversations with women just in time to get outrageously drunk and Tom was helping him towards the door, holding James' coat and scarf. He looked back and saw James.
"Let's go!" he yelled, "help me out with Robert!"
James looked back at the girl, her green eyes sparkling. He held one hand to her face, closed his eyes, leaned down, and kissed her on the lips.
James knew that this would be his only moment with the girl. In towns like Arden you didn't date anyone long-distance. He didn't have a car or the money to travel. Besides - he wasn't sure he was ready for a family. He was barely about to get a steady job, and no amount of wishing would give this girl the home and support she deserved. It was better to break it off before it ever began. He released her hand, and walked away before she opened her eyes. By the time she did, he was already gone.
---
Three Years Later
"I'm a draft dodger."
This thought permeated James' every waking moment and stuck with him at every new stop.
It had started in September when President Roosevelt enacted the first peacetime conscription in the history of the United States. James' dad had briefly served in the first World War, but rarely spoke of it. Robert and Tom had signed up before the draft came to Arden, deciding that becoming officers in this next conflict might keep them alive. They had caught the fever of "serving the country" and had urged James to do the same.
James had never been a fighter. He knew that certain things in life are unavoidable, but no matter how hard he tried he could never will himself into believing in this war. He wasn't sure if his inability to be patriotic at a time like this came from some hidden cowardice, or rather a desire to live his own life, uninhibited by demands of the state. Either way, he had left town on a cold fall night with all the money he had saved from his job at the mill, leaving only a note for his father to find the next morning. His dad would understand, of that James was sure. But the guilt of abandoning his country haunted James even as he enjoyed the freedoms of traveling the country.
James had stowed away on trains at first, mostly. Eventually, he found a cheap motorcycle for sale in a Boston suburb and purchased it for more than its projected cost. He had a little extra money, and this was Christmas, after all. He might be a draft-dodger, but a Scrooge he was not. Riding his motorcycle in October and November hadn't been so bad, but the snows of late December made his stops more frequent, and his desire for a hot beverage and a warm meal insatiable.
He tore down the New York highway, his sister's scarf covering his face to prevent frostbite, and his gloved hands cranking the throttle. New York's Hudson Valley was a welcome reprieve from the dangers of bustling big cities that James had once admired. Dodging the draft meant that he had acquired a new sixth sense, having to steer clear of police and government officials in places like Manhattan. He had followed the Hudson river north, using his intuition and a map tucked in his back pocket to guide him to his next stop.
The only sign that illuminated the otherwise dark building read "DINER" in big, capital letters. White Plains, NY was a small enough town that James didn't have to fear discovery, but big enough to have a diner and a motel across the street from one another. James turned his bike off, grabbed his bag, and went inside.
The diner was same nondescript, typical eatery located all along the East Coast. It's shiny, chrome-plated decorations sparkled from a few Christmas lights here and there. It was empty save for one waitress and the cooks. James walked inside, grabbed a stool at the bar, and waited. He didn't need to look at the menu - bacon, eggs, and coffee were all he wanted. Maybe a muffin too - it was Christmas Eve after all.
"Merry Christmas," said the waitress, smiling as she walked out from the kitchen, "what can I get for you?"
She was beautiful. Long dark hair, pulled back in a bun, and eyes to match. She was maybe 20, but looked like she had been working in this diner her whole life. Perhaps she had been.
"Bacon, eggs, and coffee please," said James, smiling back. He had no intention of flirting with the waitress - romantic connections had been given up long ago for his life on the road. But despite his three years of travel, James had promised himself to never lose his courtesy or optimism. "And what kinds of muffins do you have on hand?"
"Blueberry, apple cinnamon, and chocolate," the waitress replied, "but you want blueberry. Don't tell the cooks I told you this, but the other two don't even come close."
"Blueberry it is!" responded James, enjoying this exchange. New Yorkers are famous for their cold attitude to strangers, and it was clear this waitress was a diamond in the rough. Her cheery attitude wasn't lost on James.
The waitress nodded, then went back to the kitchen. A moment later she returned, her eyes sparkling, two muffins in hand. She plopped one down next to James, then nibbled at the other. As James broke a piece off, the waitress asked,
"What's someone like you doing at a place like this on Christmas Eve?"
James was used to this kind of question and had a few alibi stories always prepared just in case.
"Headed up to Poughkeepsie to visit my uncle." he responded.
"Alright then. Good thing you'll be there by Christmas! The holidays just aren't the same without a family to share them with."
James nodded in agreement, breaking off another piece of his muffin.
The waitress grabbed a mug, filled it with coffee, and set it down next to him. "Someone like you probably has all kinds of stories." She declared with confidence. She motioned to the room and said, "I wish I could leave town and experience life outside of this place."
"Enjoy it while you're here," James said, "it's easy to take everyday life for granted." Truthfully, James missed his dad's voice as he read poetry aloud and the smell of fine tobacco in his house. Even the open air of the country paled in comparison.
"Do you have any good Christmas stories?" the waitress asked, taking another bite of her muffin.
James took a sip of coffee as his mind wandered off to the Christmas Eve party three years ago. It was the last one the town had thrown when war seemed eminent. The girl's red dress flowed before him, and her smile was as close to his face right then as it had been when they danced.
"I've got a great story." he said, his eyes glossing over, a smile edging at his lips.
The waitress leaned in, elbows on the bar. James began telling the story, from when his friends picked him up, through a description of the dance hall, clear up to falling in love at first sight.
"I wasn't sure I had the courage to speak to her as I approached," James explained, "she was the most beautiful girl I have ever seen." The waitress blushed. "Finally, I managed to ask her to dance. She obliged, and at a quarter-til-11 we started the most memorable dance I will probably ever experience. When the music stopped, I leaned in and kissed her."
"What happened next?" the waitress asked, "please tell me you two got married."
"No, that was the last time I ever saw her." James replied. "It might be my biggest regret to this day. I had every reason to not pursue her, of course. But I wish I could see her just once more to tell her how much that experience meant to me."
"What was her name?" the waitress asked.
"I never got it. And she never got mine. I left before she even opened her eyes after our kiss."
The waitress leaned back.
"That might be the most beautiful, tragic Christmas story I've ever heard." She replied.
The cook sounded off "order up!" from inside the kitchen and the waitress handed James his meal.
"Make me a promise," she said, forcefulness in her voice, "never lose hope."
-----
10 Years Later; 13 Years From the Dance
James was 32, and had quite the reputation in the Hudson Valley. It was the year 1950, and the Second World War had ended five years earlier. James had never left his life on the road, but by now his draft-dodging days were nearly forgotten. He was a hard looking man, scars etched on his arms and face from a few encounters with drunk locals. He had kept his smile and sense of humor intact, and had been back to visit his father and hometown a few times since the end of the war.
He had decided long ago that settling down wasn't for him. He had never married, and the little he had to show for himself was a brand-new motorcycle and a series of journals that he had kept through the years. He preferred his simple life, and had picked up construction jobs here and there throughout the years to pay for the necessities. Despite his nomadic lifestyle, James had made friends all around New York, and had often returned to that White Plains diner where he had stopped 10 years ago.
His Christmas Story was a holiday favorite for the locals of the Hudson Valley. Every year as the snow began to fall James would make his way to restaurants and diners and share the tale of "The Girl With No Name," as it had become known. The gigs gave him money to stay warm during the winter and provided him with a little extra money to save. He wasn't sure what it was about the story - maybe the simultaneous beauty and sadness of the tale struck a chord in the local's hearts and gave them a reason to be thankful for what they had. Regardless, James enjoyed telling it.
The more he told the story, the more clear the details became. James could remember the texture of the girl's hands, the glossiness of her red lipstick, each pluck of the band's tunes. He could recall the look on his friend's faces as they called for him to come outside. He remembered the Christmas tree - its shape, height, and decorations as if it was standing before him right then and there. There were always out-of-towners at James' gigs that were confused why he was at the diner, reciting an old love story. But inevitably as James began his descriptions, the naysayers fell silent. It was too beautiful to bicker at, and too tragic to forget.
"Have you found the Girl With No Name?" James was asked, year after year.
His response never varied.
"No, but perhaps I'm not supposed to. Everyone's life can only hold so much beauty, and mine was all used up on that one night."
James was content with his life, but the girl in the red dress was always on the back of his mind. Town after town, city after city, James was always half-expecting to walk into a bar or diner to see her sitting there, ordering food or talking to a friend.
But it never happened, and it would never happen.
-----
21 Years Later, 34 Years From the Dance
When James turned 50, he decided it was time to come home. His dad had passed nearly a decade before, and had left everything to James. It took him some time to give up his life on the road, but in the end he was ready for a change. When he walked into his house for the first time in almost 10 years, the old scent of tobacco and smoke greeted him like a welcome friend. Tom and Robert had moved back to Arden as well, and already had families of their own. They had taken care of the place until James was ready to return. All of his father's things were still in place - the old medal on the mantle, his dad's pipe, and even the Christmas decorations. His friends knew what the Holiday season meant to James and had readied the house for his return.
He was 53 now and had grown back into the Arden community. Every year, Tom and Robert invited James over to their house for Christmas dinner and fellowship. His answer was always the same: a polite "no thank you."
James' habit of telling the story of The Girl With No Name every year followed him to Arden. On Christmas Eve he would sit inside the dance hall and relay the story to anyone that cared to listen. His biggest fans were the children - virtually every child in the community would sit and listen carefully, hanging on James' every word. He spoke to them about love of the deepest kind, about his romantic dance, and the kiss that followed. And then he spoke about his premature departure, and his life on the road. Kids on Christmas morning would retell the story to their older siblings and parents, never sparing a detail. James enjoyed each retelling more than the last.
The story became as much a part of James as his time traveling. The two were intimately connected, and his reputation in New York, New Jersey, Massachusetts, Delaware, and further up and down the coast had become larger-than-life. Yet still, the girl was never found. James imagined her living in some far off country with a good-looking husband and kids to call her own. He imagined her laughing on the beaches of California or smiling at sunrises in Texas.
When a few Christmases had passed, James could tell the story, then pause and let the children tell him what came next. His tale was as much a part of the community as caroling or opening presents on Christmas morning. The children invited James to their schools in the fall, and he coached baseball in the spring. Ever day he would return to his house, smoke his pipe, and sit where his father had sat years before. And as the snow began to fall each December, he always half-expected a snow ball to pelt against his window.
He never encountered the Girl With No Name. But as the waitress had made him promise all those years ago, he never lost hope.
--------
20 Year Later, 54 Years From the Dance
It was December 25, 1991. James was laying in his hospital bed, cold from the morning air flowing in through his open window. It was Christmas, James realized.
He had been admitted to the hospital a month before after suffering a near-fatal heart attack. Stephen, Robert's oldest son, had visited James to hear his famous story when he found him on the floor. He called the ambulance, and James barely made it through the night.
Although he had survived the heart attack, the hospital had concluded that James' heart was failing. He had almost nobody left - the children had grown up, the town had grown out of James' story, and he was left with an empty bedroom and heart that could give out at any moment. Robert and Tom's kids cared about James - but their busy lives permitted only brief visits to pay the bills and say hello. The doctor told him that although surgery was available, it was extremely unlikely that James would survive the procedure. James opted to spend his last days in the comfort of the hospital, and he was content with dying there.
"Merry Christmas James, how are you feeling today?" asked the nurse, coming in to do her daily check up.
"Fine, thank you." James muttered, his voice hoarse, "It is Christmas, isn't it? And I haven't a thing to wear."
The nurse chuckled. "Not to worry," she said, "we just got a new nurse in today who will be working with me to take care of you. I'm sure your personality will impress her more than any clothes you could wear."
James smiled. The hospital was a nice place, and although the sanitary smell of rubbing alcohol and latex was no match for his favorite tobacco, he couldn't complain about the cheery atmosphere.
"Carol, why don't you come in here and meet James."
The nurse left, and the new nurse entered James' room. She was an older woman, and James couldn't catch a good view of her from his position on the bed.
She stepped closer and sat on a stool next to him. "Hey there, I'm Carol. Nice to meet you James."
The light from the window was on her face and James couldn't quite make out what she looked like. Then again, his sight was failing him almost as quickly as his heart.
James' mind went back to all the Christmases before. He had always been the one to share his story, and in his old age it had gotten harder and harder to tell. He had wanted to share it with the hospital staff - if nothing else it would help him get his mind off of the pain. But the difficulties of old age and his fading mind made it difficult to form the words. He had made it a point to replay the story in his head so he never lost it, but telling it was getting harder and harder.
On this Christmas morning, all James wanted to do was listen. He didn't have the voice to share anymore. He had lived a full life, and his stories had run their course. On this cold December 25th, the only present James wanted was to hear somebody else's Christmas tale.
"Nurse?" James asked, "what is your favorite Christmas story?"
The nurse paused, folded her hands on her lap, and smiled. The sun glinted off of the red glasses she was wearing, and she leaned in.
"When I was 18 years old, I met a man in northern Delaware. I was visiting with a friend from college, before the war started. It was December 24th, and it was the most beautiful celebration I had ever been to. I'll tell you what, that town sure knew how to throw a party. I noticed a young man sitting at a table alone in the distance. He met my eyes, but looked away. I wasn't sure if he already had a girlfriend and was waiting for her, or if he was just enjoying watching the party from a distance. But I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. Something about him - a sense of adventure that I had never seen before - made me want to have a conversation. All of a sudden, he got up and started walking towards me. When he got close, he stopped and tried to gather his words. He must have been so nervous - but all of a sudden he asked me if I wanted to dance. I of course said yes, and he took my hand. He was the most fabulous dancer I have ever met, and I had a hard time following. It was close to the end of the evening, but even in those few minutes I knew that I loved him. I don't know how I knew - I just did. The band stopped playing, and our dance came to a close. Now - I'll tell you, I wasn't the type of girl to kiss just any man I danced with. But I was so caught up in him, and I knew that I had to kiss him. There was no hesitation when he reached for my face and pulled me close. Our lips met, and I shut my eyes. A moment later, I felt him release me from his embrace, I opened my eyes, and he was gone. I never got the chance to ask him his name, and I never understood why he left, but I know that it wasn't out of fear. He had the courage to ask me the dance, and I am forever grateful for that. I just wish I could have told him how much that moment meant to me. That night has always stuck with me, and to this day it is my favorite Christmas story. When the war started, I left to be a nurse overseas. I always kept my eyes open for that man, hoping that I might see him as a soldier or officer. And although tragic, the beauty that I saw on that night has driven me to be a kinder, gentler, more loving person. I owe that all to the man with no name."
James was weeping.
"What's the matter, James?" Carol asked.
"You're favorite Christmas story is my favorite Christmas story." James said, grabbing her hand.
Carol looked into his eyes, and realization cascaded over her. "James..." she said, her voice trailing off.
The only thing James had ever wanted in his life was to meet the Girl With No Name again. Now it was happening, and in the most unexpected, unprecedented way. At this moment, James realized that he had nothing left to live for. The loose ties of his life were being drawn shut, and he could feel the impending end closing in. James' thoughts drifted back to his life: the children, his motorcycle, his life on the road, and the waitress. He realized that this one belief that he might see the Girl again had kept him alive all of these years. It had given him purpose, and now that purpose was gone. He could not let that happen to Carol, not when she was still so healthy and beautiful. Not when she could touch so many other's lives still. Carol could retell their story, but to do that she needed one thing.
James' breath got heavy, and his eyes began to shut. "Make me a promise, Carol..." James said, in a whisper.
"Anything." Carol said, realizing that this may be her last moment to speak with the man she loved so much over 50 years ago.
"Never lose hope."
James let out his last long breath.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Some Christmasy Thoughts
Blogged by
Colin Mansfield
at
9:00 PM
I love Christmas so much! This year is especially special to me because it will be the first extended time period I've had home since Beast Barracks. In many ways I feel as though Thanksgiving break was the teaser, while Christmas break is the full length movie. And if you've ever been to the opening night of a movie with me, you know how excited I must be right now.
Today I completed finals, or Term End Exams (TEEs), at West Point. And with that, my first semester of college has come to an end! What a refreshing feeling. I feel like the pressures of the school year have truly lifted for the first time since coming to USMA.
An amazing family friend has put me up for the night in a hotel right outside the airport in Newark, NJ. I leave bright and early tomorrow morning, fly through Seattle, and land in Boise at about 3pm. It can't come fast enough.
As for right now, I'm sitting in the hotel lobby tinkering around online, listening to Christmas music (excellent playlist: Relient K, Sufjan Stevens, Trans Siberian Orchestra, and a mix album of classics) and getting into the Holiday jive. Christmas has to be my favorite time of year. I love how everyone has their own unique traditions and routine on Christmas morning. Talking to one of my best friends at West Point, Dan Bryce, I asked him about his traditions, and it was as though I was getting a look into not only his Christmas morning, but his childhood and family traditions as well. To me Christmas has always been the common denominator of the year. Everything can go wrong during the entire course of the year, but Christmas is always waiting at then end, a beacon of hope and cheer. And it seems like I'm in need of that hope and cheer right about the time it arrives every year.
A particular part in C.S. Lewis' The Chronicles of Narnia: the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe stands out to me. If you remember the story, the White Witch has put a spell over the land in which it is always winter. But that's not the worst part. It's always winter, but never Christmas.
And when you really think about that, it has pretty deep implications.
Is life without hope truly life? When we have nothing to live for, are we really living? Or are we simply existing?
These are the things I'm thinking about as people wander in and out of the hotel lobby. But for me, Christmas has always been a time to reflect and ponder.
What does Christmas mean to you?
Colin
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Christmas and a New Season
Blogged by
Colin Mansfield
at
9:32 PM
Merry Christmas!Or day after Christmas, I suppose.
I really wanted to do some kind of Holiday post about good cheer, cookies, Santa, and presents. Every time I'd try to clear my thoughts and whip out my blogging device, however, I'd draw a blank. No accidents, I figured, and I let my dad hold down the blogging fort.
And now, Christmas has left the plate and New Years is up to bat.
And I think I'm ready to write a bit about my mixed feelings this Holiday season.
This year has been painful, no doubt. I've written about it plenty before. Thanksgiving proved especially difficult, because, well, it's hard to to give thanks when there's not much to be thankful for. Then again, it really did put in perspective what I do have to be thankful for. You can read about that here.
Christmas is my favorite holiday, no doubt. I love everything that goes with it: decorating my family Christmas tree, setting up the little village on our chimney, putting up the lights with my dad, drinking my mom's delicious homemade egg nog, enjoying a cup of coffee and a good book by the fireplace, and most of all: Christmas morning. I love waking up to the presents, hugging my parents and whispering "Merry Christmas." The stockings are always opened first in my house: we each open our stocking at the same time, pausing every few gifts to look at each other's winnings. After stockings, my mom generally has some kind of small breakfast cooked up. This year it was cinnamon rolls, and man did they taste good with the coffee she brewed up. The presents came next, and because I'm the youngest, I got to hand them all out. This year my cousin Dannie came and opened presents with my family; she was an awesome addition. Every year I pass out a present to each person, and we take turns opening in some kind of orderly fashion. This particular year we did oldest to youngest. Every present is appreciated, and none are taken for granted. We hug each other and laugh plenty.My family has traditions built around relationship and love.
And this year, one of the stockings remained hanging above the fireplace. Empty.
Papa, what are you doing?
My family made the decision this year, at the prompting of my sister, to remember my brother for who he was in his entirety. Now this may sound all fine and dandy to you, but you probably didn't know my brother. There is a lot of hurt in my family from things he said, things he did, and tension he caused. For my sister, the bad memories outweigh the good. For me, some of the earliest memories of my brother are of him lying, deceiving, and yelling at my parents. For my parents, they raised a fun-loving beautiful boy who turned into a drug-addict trouble producing man.
It's really easy to Saintify someone when they die. It's a lot harder to acknowledge who they were in their entirety.
But something that's hit home for me this year is that, in the grand scheme of things, what I DO really holds little worth. If I could DO my way into Heaven, there would have been no reason for Baby Jesus to make his manger appearance.
What I'm beginning to see now is that the coin has two sides.
How often do I find myself holding on to my actions as if they are what defines me? In reality, who I am in Christ is all that really holds weight.
For my brother, his actions would have sent him to Hell. Who he was in Christ made all the difference, eternally.
Looking over at that empty stocking on Christmas morning was not easy. Neither was sitting around the table saying a bad memory I had about my brother.
For all of his imperfections, and everything he DID that was awful, the person who he WAS, was amazing. And, as the case could certainly be made, the person he IS, is even more incredible.
Christmas was hard, but it was good.
And now, it's about time to celebrate the onset of 2010. For me, next year will hold all kinds of changes, not the least of which is the transition for High School to College. And something I've learned from this year is that no matter what I do, what happens to me, and what changes I go through, God is the same. Yesterday, today, and forever baby. He's where it's at: the Alpha and the Omega. He's Love, and He loves me. Insecurity and fear begone, Jesus dwells in my heart, life. Next year is going to be incredible not because of what I do, but who I am in Him.
I hope you had a fantastic Christmas, and that your New Year's Celebration is full of fun!
Colin
Sunday, January 11, 2009
The Raw Stuff
Blogged by
Colin Mansfield
at
7:59 PM
Joy that is unrefined, authentic. Of the heart, and to the heart. Joy which cannot be explained with mere words, and yet is so uncontainable that one must try. Joy that is more than happiness, more than excitement. The raw stuff. Breaks all barriers. Impacts.
My girlfriend, Kona Estes, gave me the best Christmas present I have ever received from any friend.
Allow me to preface:
When it comes to Christmas I'm a wee-bit materialistic. It's not that I don't enjoy the more "abstract" gifts the holidays bring (happiness, warm smiles, etc) I just happen to think I can enjoy those gifts more with a new iPod, laptop, book, video game, movie, ...ok you get the picture.
For my Christmas present to Kona I gave her an assortment of gift cards to various stores. I also hand picked a number of funny cards with which to hold said gift cards. Finally, I came up with a semi-elaborate scavenger hunt to various places that are special to Kona, or to her and I. At each stop she would get money in the form of a gift card, and a clue to the next area. It ended at my house for a yummy breakfast kudos of my wonderful mom.
And yeah, I'm pretty proud of the whole thing. I think it turned out really well, and Kona said she liked it (always a good sign.)
All that to say, I prepped, planned, and executed (on Christmas eve, I might add.)
I was slightly put off when Kona didn't return the favor that day. Or Christmas day. Or the weekend after. Or New Year's weekend.
In her defense, she stayed in communication with me and timing simply did not work out. Every day she had free to give me her present, I was busy, and vice-versa. Still, it was a little disconcerting.
On an unrelated note (or at least that's what I thought at the time) she invited me over to her grandparents house last weekend to celebrate Christmas with their family in Bowmont, Idaho. When we were about 10 minutes away, Kona informed me that this was her Christmas present: the present of quality time. I would be spending the day hanging out with her family and getting to know them.
I admit, I thought it was a very thoughtful gift, but my first reaction was nervousness. I really did not want to pull a Meet the Parents. But I figured jumping out of the moving car in front of my girlfriend and her entire family would probably be offensive to some degree, so I stayed along for the ride.
I had an AMAZING time! Getting to know new people is always a little awkward towards the beginning for me, but as I got to talking with her grandpa and uncle, I started to enjoy myself. I forgot everything about trying to make a good impression, or sell myself, and I just relaxed. It wasn't that I was focusing on being authentic, real and deep. Rather, I was me. 100% Colin William Mansfield. And I had a fantastic time!
Later that night, while we were packing up and getting ready to leave, I realized, or rather got a glimpse, of what it was I had been feeling that day. I had been feeling pure, raw joy. I had experienced the bride of Christ at her best. It was as though I had left behind all the negativity of life somewhere on the road out of Boise, and all that was left was this immunizing, numbing joy. All I can describe it as is the Joy of Jesus. Even as I came home, said my goodbyes to Kona and the rest of the Estes Clan, and crawled into bed, I could feel the waves of raw joy splash up onto my body.
Did I deserve this? No. Did Jesus still give it to me? Yes. And I stood in awe.
Have you experienced His raw Joy?
Colin
P.S. Kona- thank you so much. You have no clue what it meant to me. :-)
And Captain- thanks for driving. ;-)
Also- check out this video by The Rocket Summer. I think the lyrics are really interesting. See how it plays into being a Ground Shaker.
Friday, January 2, 2009
Christmas, New Years, and Movies
Blogged by
Colin Mansfield
at
11:34 AM
Neglect is an awful thing. I once had a pet rat, and I forgot to feed it. I learned that the consequences of neglecting to feed a pet rat is that it dies. I think the same could be said of a blog. I never thought that starting a blog might actually force me into the position of having to update it for other people's sakes. That being said I realize I am no slave to this digital journal, this virtual book of anecdotes. I have begun to realize the teeter-totter rhythm of having a blog. Forgive me if I weigh down on my side a little too much.
I had a fantastic break! No school+Christmas+New Years= Amazing fun. Something I want to bring up today is how so often I take for granted the small things. Like going to a movie.
Christmas morning at the Mansfield house is present-clad, candy-laden, with humor and laughter mixed in. This year it was spent with just my mom, dad, and I. At noon my sister came over to celebrate with us. It was all kinds of fun, and I thought it was one of the better Christmas I've ever had.
New Years was spent in a fun way for me as well. My family organized a dance party for my school. We did dances including but not limited to: The Virginia Reel, the Patty Cake Polka, The Cotton Eyed Joe dance, a plethora of swing dancing, the Waltz, and the Foxtrot. I got the honor of being the MC/teacher of the event, and it was an all around good time!
Something else I had the joy to experience during the holidays was watching and going to see movies with an assortment of people. I saw films such as Valkyrie, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, and Seven Pounds. I even watched Christmas With the Kranks (Maybe sitting next to my girlfriend holding hands had something to do with the 'magic' of that film.)
I guess what I'm getting at is this: the holidays are the holidays every year. The same Silver Bells will greet my ears, and the same red-nosed reindeer will be remembered. The Night will stay Holy, and the Sleigh Ride will always be grand. And the same ball will drop in times square.
The main thing I've been realizing about the magic of the holidays has little to do with holly, presents, or noisemakers. The real magic of the holidays comes from memories. I think all the movies I've been watching have shown me that you don't have to spend $100 to make a holiday memory.
And yeah, I know the above couple sentences are pretty cliche. But them being cliche does not refute the truth involved.
So yes, I will enjoy my new iPod nano, leather jacket, snowboarding beanie, sweatshirt, and spider-man piggy bank. But never, never will I forget the good times I've had this holiday season. Material things pass away, but memories last a lifetime.
Colin
I had a fantastic break! No school+Christmas+New Years= Amazing fun. Something I want to bring up today is how so often I take for granted the small things. Like going to a movie.
Christmas morning at the Mansfield house is present-clad, candy-laden, with humor and laughter mixed in. This year it was spent with just my mom, dad, and I. At noon my sister came over to celebrate with us. It was all kinds of fun, and I thought it was one of the better Christmas I've ever had.New Years was spent in a fun way for me as well. My family organized a dance party for my school. We did dances including but not limited to: The Virginia Reel, the Patty Cake Polka, The Cotton Eyed Joe dance, a plethora of swing dancing, the Waltz, and the Foxtrot. I got the honor of being the MC/teacher of the event, and it was an all around good time!
Something else I had the joy to experience during the holidays was watching and going to see movies with an assortment of people. I saw films such as Valkyrie, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, and Seven Pounds. I even watched Christmas With the Kranks (Maybe sitting next to my girlfriend holding hands had something to do with the 'magic' of that film.)
I guess what I'm getting at is this: the holidays are the holidays every year. The same Silver Bells will greet my ears, and the same red-nosed reindeer will be remembered. The Night will stay Holy, and the Sleigh Ride will always be grand. And the same ball will drop in times square.
The main thing I've been realizing about the magic of the holidays has little to do with holly, presents, or noisemakers. The real magic of the holidays comes from memories. I think all the movies I've been watching have shown me that you don't have to spend $100 to make a holiday memory.
And yeah, I know the above couple sentences are pretty cliche. But them being cliche does not refute the truth involved.
So yes, I will enjoy my new iPod nano, leather jacket, snowboarding beanie, sweatshirt, and spider-man piggy bank. But never, never will I forget the good times I've had this holiday season. Material things pass away, but memories last a lifetime.
Colin
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Have you ever sat down while taking a shower?
Blogged by
Colin Mansfield
at
9:22 PM
There's this great scene in the movie "The Dead Poets Society." Here's a clip:
If you haven't seen this movie in its entirety you should. It brings forth some incredible concepts and it really made me think.
What I love so much about this clip is how the teacher, who the students are asked to refer to as 'Captain', asks them to see things differently. He demonstrates this by example in that he teaches his class in a completely different and original manner. He doesn't teach the class simply so they pass the test: he teaches the class so they learn.
Today, being both a Saturday and a part of Christmas break, was very conducive to sleeping in. I slept until 11, and then got up for my morning ritual. Put the dog out, feed the dog, hug my parents, mosey around, read the front page, eat breakfast (if readily accessible), check my email, check the blog stats, then go look at the calendar to see what I have today. Half way through accomplishing this, I remember that I had forgotten to take a shower in above ritual. Argh.
Sometimes I wish showers weren't necessary. Or hygiene for that matter. Shaving is a pain, brushing teeth wastes time, and without deodorant people stay away from me (still haven't figured that one out). Yes, I know all of those must be done so I do them. But come on, you have to admit you wish there was a national "Sit around in your PJ's and don't worry about hygiene" day. Or is it just me?
Anyways, I forgot to take a shower. So I go back upstairs, pick out my clothes (most of em are dirty so I just pick the ones without grass stains and BO), grab a towel, and hit the bathroom.
While standing there, letting the hot/cold water run over me (I say hot/cold because my mom was using the faucet upstairs for something. Brrr.) I looked at the ground. Then I sat on the ground. I don't know what bridged the gap between the motion of my eyes and the motion of my body, but nonetheless I found myself sitting down inside my shower.
Interesting, thought I. So I looked up. Interesting.

I could only look up for a few seconds: the water was hot and semi-chlorinated after all. The shower-controller-thing was about 2 1/2 feet above me. It looked smaller, even from that short distance.
The shower head was a completely different matter, however. From up close I would never think such a thing could look so menacing. From a farther distance, say 4-5ft, this simple little water dispenser looked like a cycling vortex of death. That's right, death. I almost wanted to stand up just to show it who's boss.
Giving myself encouragement, I continued looking. The built in soap-holder that my shower has was dull. Normally one can see what it holds: usually soap. From down below, however, it looked like no more than a useless brick.
Then I looked down close to me. Well that's cool, thought I. Normally the most strenuous part of my shower is the shampoo bit towards the end. Imagine this: after a nice soaping down and rinsing, I have to bend all the way over to actually grab my bottle of shampoo that sits on the ground. Then I have to stand back up straight so I can properly squirt the shampoo. Then, after that feat has been accomplished, I have to bend back over to put the bottle back on the ground, then stand back up. It's ridiculous. Sitting on the ground, however, made this easy. It was just behind-and-to-the-right of me. Phew, saved some calories from the fiery furnace of my body.
After the whole washing gig was over, I continued to sit. This would make an interesting blog post, I thought. Then I decided against it: after all, who would want to hear about my experience in the shower? Creeeepppyyyy...
I stood back up, turned the shower off, and commenced my day.
As I got to thinking about the whole shower ordeal, I saw how it related to that Dead Poets Society clip. Looking at the world differently is really interesting. I wonder if I would see more aspects of my life if I tried "sitting down" or "standing on my desk?" I'll give it a go and let ya know how it works. Maybe I'll even try it on the whole principle of Christmas and see if I get some sort of epiphany. Then again, maybe I'll just see some kind of useless brick.
Lol, I'm already seeing how this gets me to think!
Anyways, hope the holiday season is treating you well.
Merry Christmas,
Colin
Oh, btw, for all you people that appreciate "Dead Poets Society" I decided I might as well throw possibly the best scene of the movie on here.
Take this post further
If you haven't seen this movie in its entirety you should. It brings forth some incredible concepts and it really made me think.
What I love so much about this clip is how the teacher, who the students are asked to refer to as 'Captain', asks them to see things differently. He demonstrates this by example in that he teaches his class in a completely different and original manner. He doesn't teach the class simply so they pass the test: he teaches the class so they learn.
Sometimes I wish showers weren't necessary. Or hygiene for that matter. Shaving is a pain, brushing teeth wastes time, and without deodorant people stay away from me (still haven't figured that one out). Yes, I know all of those must be done so I do them. But come on, you have to admit you wish there was a national "Sit around in your PJ's and don't worry about hygiene" day. Or is it just me?
Anyways, I forgot to take a shower. So I go back upstairs, pick out my clothes (most of em are dirty so I just pick the ones without grass stains and BO), grab a towel, and hit the bathroom.
While standing there, letting the hot/cold water run over me (I say hot/cold because my mom was using the faucet upstairs for something. Brrr.) I looked at the ground. Then I sat on the ground. I don't know what bridged the gap between the motion of my eyes and the motion of my body, but nonetheless I found myself sitting down inside my shower.
Interesting, thought I. So I looked up. Interesting.
I could only look up for a few seconds: the water was hot and semi-chlorinated after all. The shower-controller-thing was about 2 1/2 feet above me. It looked smaller, even from that short distance.
The shower head was a completely different matter, however. From up close I would never think such a thing could look so menacing. From a farther distance, say 4-5ft, this simple little water dispenser looked like a cycling vortex of death. That's right, death. I almost wanted to stand up just to show it who's boss.
Giving myself encouragement, I continued looking. The built in soap-holder that my shower has was dull. Normally one can see what it holds: usually soap. From down below, however, it looked like no more than a useless brick.
Then I looked down close to me. Well that's cool, thought I. Normally the most strenuous part of my shower is the shampoo bit towards the end. Imagine this: after a nice soaping down and rinsing, I have to bend all the way over to actually grab my bottle of shampoo that sits on the ground. Then I have to stand back up straight so I can properly squirt the shampoo. Then, after that feat has been accomplished, I have to bend back over to put the bottle back on the ground, then stand back up. It's ridiculous. Sitting on the ground, however, made this easy. It was just behind-and-to-the-right of me. Phew, saved some calories from the fiery furnace of my body.
After the whole washing gig was over, I continued to sit. This would make an interesting blog post, I thought. Then I decided against it: after all, who would want to hear about my experience in the shower? Creeeepppyyyy...
I stood back up, turned the shower off, and commenced my day.
As I got to thinking about the whole shower ordeal, I saw how it related to that Dead Poets Society clip. Looking at the world differently is really interesting. I wonder if I would see more aspects of my life if I tried "sitting down" or "standing on my desk?" I'll give it a go and let ya know how it works. Maybe I'll even try it on the whole principle of Christmas and see if I get some sort of epiphany. Then again, maybe I'll just see some kind of useless brick.
Lol, I'm already seeing how this gets me to think!
Anyways, hope the holiday season is treating you well.
Merry Christmas,
Colin
Oh, btw, for all you people that appreciate "Dead Poets Society" I decided I might as well throw possibly the best scene of the movie on here.
Take this post further
Sunday, December 14, 2008
♪ It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...
Blogged by
Colin Mansfield
at
10:19 AM
I was pleasantly surprised to awake to the sound of...well nothing! And such a silence can only be caused by one thing!

Only 10 days until Christmas!
Colin

Only 10 days until Christmas!
Colin
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Last thoughts for today
Blogged by
Colin Mansfield
at
11:21 PM
Just thought I'd share this beautiful Relient K video with you. :)
Relient K - Sleigh Ride from gotee on Vimeo.
Relient K - Sleigh Ride from gotee on Vimeo.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Alas, for mobile Blogger
Blogged by
Colin Mansfield
at
1:54 PM
Well, now I feel like I've been wasting time. =/
I've spent I good portion of my morning trying to get the mobile blogger thingie to work. I can put text up, but no pics :(
Too bad Sprint is lame.

In any case, if you're ever on the blog and a posting has no title, it means I posted it from my good ol' phone LeTronika.
And how 'bout that snow today? I woke up and was like "Finally!" December is indeed here ladies and gents. And Father Christmas is on his way.
Happy Monday! Only 10 more days until "BOOM TIME"
Colin
I've spent I good portion of my morning trying to get the mobile blogger thingie to work. I can put text up, but no pics :(
Too bad Sprint is lame.
In any case, if you're ever on the blog and a posting has no title, it means I posted it from my good ol' phone LeTronika.
And how 'bout that snow today? I woke up and was like "Finally!" December is indeed here ladies and gents. And Father Christmas is on his way.
Happy Monday! Only 10 more days until "BOOM TIME"
Colin
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)

